When your friends come to you for advice:
“good… good, you’ve come to the right place.”
If I ever tell you I’m going to sleep and then you see me posting or liking things online for about an hour immediately after that, I promise I wasn’t lying to you, I’m just bad at going to sleep and it is usually a long process that begins with disengaging from any sort of immediate contact with people (chats, for example) and ends when everything on my screen is blurry and I’m hallucinating plot points I haven’t written yet
parent: why hasn't ____ been round lately? I thought you were friends
me: well they turned into a cunt
When you were younger and a friend came round
The awkward first half hour of politeness:
The next couple of hours:
When their parents came to collect them:
“HIDE! HIDE! THEY CAN’T TAKE YOU IF THEY CAN’T FIND YOU! IN MY ROOM! THEY WILL NEVER FIND YOU THERE! HIDE NIGGA HIDE! THIS IS A MATTER OF LIFE OR DEATH!”
